Finding Truth and Happiness Through our own Experiences, Not Religion

Does  religion have value?  I believe so, but it's hard to find truth, happiness, or God through religion.  That's a bold statement, I know. What's easy to find in a religion... is that religion's definition of who God is, its definition of happiness and its definition of truth.  It's hard to learn these things for yourself as long as you are listening to that religion's definitions, and not learning, questioning, and listening to your own discoveries.  The things that I have learned in my life, things that matter to my happiness, are things that I learned on my own.  Truths that I have learned, and things that bring me happiness, I learned through trial and error, and questioning.  We all do. 

I read a post the other day on reddit by an exChristian called, Quitting the church and Bible reading made me more loving. This person explained that the reason he began to analyse his religion was... "too many Christians I knew and ESPECIALLY those in ministry were impatient, sarcastic and very closed minded...Then I got to thinking why I was different from them.  I  mean, I believed in the same God and followed the same religion but the nicer and more loving I got, the angrier and more intolerant they got.  I then figured out two major differences between me and the Christians I knew.  1) I had stopped going to church.  2) I had stopped reading the Bible...It was amazing that simply stopping doing those two things created a wide chasm between me and the church going Bible readers.  They seemed to get more negative, more filled with pessimism and being judgmental and self righteous while I was being filled with a sense of wonder and longing to explore life."

So what did this person learn from his religion?  I don't know he didn't say, I'm sure he learned some good things, but the main things that he found to be true or that brought him joy, he discovered himself.  He gained a sense of wonder and a longing to explore life, and as he moved away from the confines and dictates of his religious dogma it allowed him to see life as a place of exploration; he became less judgmental, nicer, and more loving.  Of course, this is only anecdotal, but it's a very common theme among people who leave their religion. 

This is not a push for people to leave their religion.  It's an acknowledgment of my belief that it's hard to learn for yourself through a man made religion, and trust me... anyone that's in a religion and thinks they have the truth, I have been there!  I know how strong those convictions are, and if it's serving you well, then stay there.  But... if it is taking you away from any kind of relationship with family or friends, if it is separating you from others, making you believe that you have a better knowledge, understanding, or the truth regarding our existence here, it's probably not serving you well. If you are not discovering your own path, and truths, and are relying on your religion's definitions, it's probably not serving you well.

My nephew is a doctor.  He's an intelligent, kind, upstanding individual.  He was valedictorian of his high school, served a mission in Italy, attended BYU, and got married in the temple.  His life was on track for a complete Mormon success story.  Then something happened, he and his wife divorced before he got out of medical school.  Then after a year or so, he stopped attending church.  My sister-in-law was so distraught over this.  I thought, what a shame that because of our religion we worry about our children because they aren't going to church, or stopped believing the faith they were taught. Anyone on the outside of our religion, would look at this young doctor and say, wow, what a great person, that's all they would see.

These are biases that religion causes, and they can separate families.   I have two favorite books/movies that I have gained much insight from.  One is: Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and the other is, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, by Dan Millman.  Both of these authors have learned from their experiences in meaningful ways, and have shared that wisdom with us.  In other words, they have learned truth.  They have learned things through their experiences that lead them to joy and happiness.  Here's a few of my favorite quotes from Dan Millman:

..."everyone tells you what's good for you, they don't want you to find your own answers, they want you to believe theirs."

"Everything you'll ever need to know is within you..."

"The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination."

"Life has three rules:  Paradox, Humor, and Change.
-Paradox: Life is a mystery; don't waste your time trying to figure it out.
-Humor: Keep a sense of humor, especially about yourself.  It is a strength beyond all measure.
-Change: Know that nothing stays the same."

"Enlightenment is not an attainment, it is a realization.  And when you wake up, everything changes..."

"A fool is 'happy' when his cravings are satisfied.  A warrior is happy without reason.  That's what makes happiness the ultimate discipline."

..."focus all your energy not on struggling with the old, but on building the new."

"Never struggle with anyone or anything.  When you're pushed, pull; when you're pulled push."

And my favorite one of all:

"There are no Ordinary Moments"

Salvation versus Happiness

As Mormon's, and most any religion I assume, your goal in life is salvation.  I'm not sure you really think about it that way, all the time anyway, but that is the goal.  Your religion, whichever it is, owns your salvation, and they make sure you feel the need to adhere to its beliefs, so that your salvation is secure.  The teachings are easy to believe, no matter how ridiculous they are, because there's little incentive to examine them, since you're saved.

As I've learned that the church that I was born and raised in, is not what it claims to be, and no other religion seems to pass a thorough examination either, I have begun to question salvation in general. I believe in God, I just don't believe we need to be saved in this life, I think this life has another purpose.  Religion teaches you that you need salvation, and the institution that tells you that, also happens to hold the keys to that salvation.  I think this is a false notion, that gives religion a hold on your thinking, time, family, and money.  It takes a very courageous person to examine their religion, it's easy to see the falsehoods in other religions, but very challenging to see them in your own.  Why is it so challenging?  Because you are taught that anything or anyone that is suggesting to you to look at your religion is dangerous and your salvation may be at stake if you take a look, and it is foolish to listen to anyone who is obviously wrong, or evil, or trying to dupe you.  It's much safer to only look at things that are approved by the church... says the church.  After all, your church is only concerned about you and your salvation!  Or, you might just tell yourself, I don't have to look I know I have the truth.  And how do you know that?  You have been told that by all those around you.  You associate with people that believe the same as you, and everything you do and feel, reinforces that truth to you. 

So if this life is not about salvation, what is God up to?  I'll tell you what I think God is all about, and this really isn't new thinking for me, the "no need for salvation" is new to me, but the rest isn't.  I've said before, I believe that God is love.  I think God wants us to learn to be happy.  I really think this life is about happiness, and learning how to be happy, and making others happy.  Love is the main ingredient in finding that happiness.  Love is the basis of it all, and if I have this wrong, I choose to live my life this way anyway.  And any God that proclaims to be a God of love, could not possibly be unhappy with a person who sees life this way and chooses to live life this way.  What would be the point in condemning or damming a person who chose to see life as a learning ground for attaining happiness, and trying to make others happy through love and compassion.    This may seem like a very simplified answer to life, but just try it!  Have the courage to let go of your beliefs, just long enough to see the simplicity of love, happiness, joy, peace, and acceptance.  You may like it so much, that you never go back to a prior way of thinking again.